LGBT+ Staff Stories: Frankii's Love Story

  We're still celebrating LGBT+ Pride Month here at Age UK Wirral, so we thought we would begin to share some of the wonderful stories and experiences of our very own LGBT + staff members and volunteers. To start us off, Frankii Collins - our Deputy Manager of Care Services - has shared his love story: 

  My name is Frankii and growing up was not easy for me when I knew I was 'different' to the rest of society.  Being teased at school, name calling and on occasion, being bullied for who I was.  At that time, I was 'just me' and never felt any different but my classmates knew better!   Although I laugh about it all now, I certainly was so introverted and quiet - which anybody who knows me would never think that was possible!

  I never 'came out' until I was in my early 20's, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have been so hard on myself.  But at a young age, the fear of people knowing was too much to bear at times and I would hide away or try and pretend I was something I definitely was not!

  I think the hardest part for me was to admit it to myself, and after I did, it was a revelation, a eureka moment, a big sigh of relief.  I then started to find my voice.  I needed to tell my mother; I felt that this would either make or break my relationship with her.  The fear of rejection was high, but I plucked up the courage as I no longer wanted to hide from who I was.  After telling my mother, she cried happy tears and she told me that she loved me no matter what.  I was overwhelmed with joy, and she turned out to be my biggest rock of support. I finally started feeling stronger about who I was.  I always worried about what others thought of me but after telling them I was gay, they shrugged it off and told me that they already knew.  No arguments ensued, no fights or name calling came my way, to my relief! I'm not a fighter by any means!!!

  When I was 26, I met Dave.  He was funny, intelligent, and 19 years older than I but something clicked between us, and I fell in love.  I cannot describe this feeling and those who are or have been in love will know all too well how wonderful this can make you feel.  Butterflies at the mention of his name, the excitement of meeting up - this was the real deal.  We made the decision to declare our love to all our friends and family but at the time, for us to be married was not law of the land.  We could not get married.  This did not stop us, and we set up a Civil Ceremony and shown everyone who knew us that we were committed despite any mumbles of 'it won't last' by people we thought of as friends.  That was 25 years ago!

  Since the law changed on equality around marriage, Dave and I were able to marry in 2014 at St. Georges Hall in Liverpool.  After the ceremony, we walked through the City Centre hand in hand to get to our reception and everyone who we passed stopped us and congratulated us.  What a change in attitudes now when two men could be imprisoned for holding hands as late as the 1970's.  This is the proudest moment of my life, being truly accepted for my differences.  My nieces and nephews grew up knowing us as husband and husband and never questioned why, which is how it should be.  I was even thanked by one of my nephews who came out to his mother (my sister) and told me that if was because of me, that he felt it was okay to be gay.  How right he was!!! 

  It doesn't stop there!  Working for Age UK Wirral has taught me that everyone contributes to its success because it is built on difference, equality and inclusion and they celebrate this every day.  There is a commitment of each member of staff working towards a common goal to help people of Wirral.  We are all different and we are all unique and we all accepted for who we are...I could not be prouder!

  For anyone who is struggling to be themselves: it gets better, I promise.  There are more people in this world that care than those that don't, and your future is rainbow coloured.  Happy Pride Month.